About My Life

I've decided to drop my LJ and start using my blogspot I just created. So head over there at http://jeremyg1787.blogspot.com . thanks!

here's part of chapter 2. I haven't written anything lately because I've just been at a stand still. I thought I knew where I wanted to take it but I started to feel different on where I wanted it to go.

http://rapidshare.com/files/151812628/Chapter_2__preview_.rar

I started writing a book at the beginning of this week and I have the first chapter finished mostly but I decided that I'd add more detail to it to give it more depth.

I really need some comments on it so I know if I should redo it. Here's the link....I included a software for all you people that don't have MS Word so you can read it too. I'll re-upload it once I get through. Until then enjoy!

http://rapidshare.com/files/150611176/Chapter_1.rar

this is seriously fucked up! I've been running a fever, coughing up thick green shit, and get dizzy real easy so I called in to work and told them I couldn't come in. Well my grandma gets a call from them asking where I am and she says that I went over to a friend's house. NO, I'm not playing hooky. I actually am sick. I just can't stay in the house all day b/c if I sleep to much then my back gets to hurting. I've covered for everybody at my job at least once and they can't fuckin' do it for me this ONE time! WTF!!!

well alot has happened since I was last on here. I'm now working in Wilmer, AL and am an assistant manager. I'm also single yet again and have been for almost 2 1/2 months. yes I'm in pain cuz of it but I'm more pissed than sad cause of the reason why it ended.

anywho, I'm stayin' at my mom's place until my dad gets a place. my step-mom sold her and my dad's house. I swear the night that we moved the furniture out of the house was the worst night of my life cause all of the memories that I've had in that house all came rushing back at the same time.

I'm gonna be starting college soon thank God. right now I'm not really looking for that special someone but if she comes along, cool. if not, oh well. I still and always will love Linda but right now it just ain't gonna work. I hope one day we'll try again but she says "three times is enough for me." even thought the first time we "dated" we didn't go on any dates all we done was talk over the phone and go to church together 3 times. so to me that wasn't dating cause to me in order to be dating you have to have gone on a DATE am I not right?

well I have this HUGE decision to be made by the end of this week.....that decision is rather or not I want to be transfered to the DG in Wilmer with Mrs. Mary and Joy....from what Mrs. Mary told me tonight, she talked to Mr. John about making me a 3rd key(higher paid cashier that can open/close the store). but she then told Mr. John for him not to do that. that she don't want me to go through that with all new people being brought in since everybody's leaving. so if I do decide to be transfered to the store in Wilmer there's a VERY good chance I'll be promoted to 3rd key.

there was this new guy named Brian that came in today to replace Jimmy and I don't like him already. he's treating me like I'm new to this job. I told him straight up "dude, I've been here a year. there ain't much that I DON'T know." like one time today I had to call him up front to take off an item and he asked me did I know how to do it I said yes. he asked "are you a key holder?" I said "no sir, but I should be. I know about 99% of the stuff that they know." he said "yea, you should be."

there's a chance that me and my dad might be moving in at my grandma's in semmes. that will make it closer to the store in Wilmer. I mean I'm working the hours of a 3rd key anyways. basically all they would need to do is give me a set of keys and raise my pay.

so I need some input on this people! need y'alls opinions so it can help me make a decision.

definitely long time no post. I've been sucked into the life of myspace lately. But I'm gonna start slowly breakin' away from it cause it's causing drama and I HATE drama.

everything's been going pretty good up until two days ago. then I found out that my step-mom told my dad she wants a divorce. he had bought a plan ticket to go down to the Virgin Isl. to see her Friday but she told him that she didn't want him coming down there and that she didn't want to see him. she also told him that she thought about it 10months ago but she didn't say anything. she wasn't going to tell him that she wanted a divorce until she came back. WTF! It's not good to feel something like that and not talk about it. It only leads to disaster. If she wasn't happy then she should have just told my dad instead of keeping it bottled up. she also signed up for permanent down there so she's gonna sell the house after the divorce and I guess just move down there.

which in turn means that me and my dad's gotta find a new place to live...but hopefully that means that we won't have to move out of Mobile to find one. cause I'm NOT leaving Mobile for anything...I have my heart here. her name is Linda Yvonne Schwartz and so far, this time, we've been dating for 5 months and 9 days.

what makes it worse is that Linda's leaving this Saturday to go down to FL for her sis's graduation. she's gonna be gone 2 weeks and I don't know how I'm gonna be able to handle not seeing her for that long. last time we went that long I started feeling like I didn't even have a girlfriend cause I never saw her.

last Friday me and Linda went out to eat at Cracker Barrel and then went and saw Spiderman 3. OMG that movie was awesome! but I liked spending time with Linda more than I liked the movie. yea I know, you don't hear that come from a guy much now days. but I'm not your typical guy either. that night was PERFECT.

my mom's having surgery the 17th too.....so this month's gonna equal suckage. BUT mine and Linda's 6 month anniversary is the day before my birthday. so hopefully that will make up for this month sucking......

me and Linda was leaving Chan's house around 3:08 yesterday morning, I gave her a goodbye kiss told her I loved her and to be careful.......later on, about 9:30, she calls me up and tells me that she ended up breaking down on the way home. she called Chan and told her that she broke down. Chan asked her if she called me and told me, Linda said "no" and Chan said "good, don't."......Linda said that she didn't want to make me worry.

so this morning at church I was a little pissed at Linda. but I told her that I wasn't really pissed at her but I was pissed off at myself cause I didn't follow her home to make sure she got there safe.



do you think I had a right to be pissed or no?

and I'm pretty sure Linda's pissed at me for getting pissed at her for not calling. last night she called about 10:08 and we talked for about 10min, when we got off all she said was "bye" she didn't say "talk to you tomorrow" or "love you".

last night was a great night. it was one of those nights where after everything is said and done you look back and ask "did this actually happen?" correction, it wasn't just a great night but more like a perfect night. Me, Linda, her nanny, her pawpaw, and her granny went to a Valentine's dinner at church. The food was good. But most of the night me and Linda was "seperated" because she was sitting on the left side of her pawpaw(cause there wasn't any other places to sit) and I was sitting on the right side of her pawpaw. On the way to the church, Linda was sitting in the back seat and I was sitting in the middle. It was like something was keeping us apart.

Anywho, after we got through eating there was a little game that 4 married couples played called the "Newly Wed & The Not So Newly Wed Game". That was so funny listening to all the responses. After the game everybody gave a donation to the youth and we left. We went back to Linda's house and watched some TV while she worked on her paper that was due today. I've noticed that she's a procrastinator. She kept on getting distracted by a sudoku "puzzle". I bent over and said "you need to be working on your paper." she said "shhh." I said "you don't really wanna work on it do you?" she said "shh." lol While she was working on her paper(she kept going back and forth from the paper to the sudoku puzzle lol) we was listening to Air Supply - All Out Of Love. Don't ask why she chose this song.

Her laptop started to die so she was gonna have to go plug it in to charge(which was in her room) plus it was about 11:08. So I put on my jacket, grabbed the stuffed dog that she gave me w/ a pic of us in it. She walked me out and I gave her a kiss goodnight. Next thing I know she grabs my collar to my jacket, pulls me to her, and french kisses me. Then we both said goodnight. On the way to my car I was saying "o yea! like I'm gonna be able to sleep after that!" lol.

Yep. So that was how my Valentine's was.......AWESOME!

please tell me what in the world's wrong with me!!! I keep on waking up every hour when I'm sleeping. WHAT THE CRAP! Ugh. I think I know what's keeping me awake but I don't know how to fix it. I have to much on my mind.....

it's funny how things have changed so much. I read some of my old posts and I was like "wow, I was seriously depressed back then." I mean, everybody has their bad days and good days but for me it seemed like more bad than good back then. and things have changed so much, in a great way, between me and Linda since the fair. I've realized that I was still upset about how things were left. For the longest time I tried to fool myself into thinking that it was Kelsey that I liked instead of Linda. But I don't, I just wanted myself to believe that so I'd feel better. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like Kelsey, but more in a friend way than anything else. I've never thought of Kelsey like that until my mom popped the idea in my head and that's when I started trying to convince myself about that.

I am so happy now days and rarely have a bad day. I just pray that when I tell Linda that I love her, that she says it back and that my dream that I posted about doesn't come true.........

Well, Linda's called me at least once a day since Monday. But it's just not enough....I miss her. I want to see her. But I gotta understand that she needs to do her studies cause of school.....

the dream I had last night was seriously weird. I don't remember a lot of it but what I do remember I will post.



me and Linda was talking and I told her that I love her. then she said "it's over then". I was like "huh?" she said "yea. you just said that you love me. it's over." I said "please, let's talk about this." she said "there's nothing to talk about. it's over."




apparently my mind is trying to play out all the possible outcomes for when I do tell her. one down, probably at least 2 more to go.

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP LINDA\'S GUY AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

it seriously was. I had been looking forward to it all day long and it finally came!

I had to work 'til 8:30 so Linda beat me getting up here to my dad's. We played some pool, watched some Joe Cartoon stuff, watched some vids off of YouTube. While we were watching some Joe Cartoon stuff, Linda turned to me and I could have sworn I heard her say "I love you Jeremy" but I don't really know what she said cause she said it soft and low(maybe I just wanted her to say that, Idk). We had already both agreed that we need to get an updated pic of us so we took 2 pics. One was just us leaning our heads together and smiling. And the other one was of us kissing. She brought over The Breakfast Club, so she told me to put it in and that when I did for me to come sit down and she'd lay her head on me. Right when we started watching it she told me to wake her up at 12 if she falls asleep. About a third of the way through the movie she ended up falling asleep. I somewhat watched the movie, but mostly I was just watching her sleep. She breathes a little hard when she's asleep. When I woke her up at 12 I said "you breathe hard when you sleep" she said "I don't know what your talking about" I said "well you do." When she got in her car I told her to drive careful and kissed her bye.

I can honestly say that I'm starting to let me wall down for the first time in a LONG time and I'm not regretting it so far. And I hope I won't regret it.

wow, there was this 2007 bulletin thingy that was going around and you fill out your answers to it. I filled it out and then Linda filled it out. what shocked me was her answer to "14. Will you tell the one you love how you feel?" her answer was "maybe! lol.....he should know." so she's trying to say that she loves me without actually saying it? if so, then why hasn't she ever told me before....my answer to it was "I think she has a clue as to how I feel" I know if you think about it that it can mean a lot of things. but only if you think about it lol.

p.s.: will post more later, gotta head to work.

ok, time to add more to this post....

there was this other question "Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?" and Linda's answer was "he hasn't asked me yet!!!" so, me being the stupid person I am, asked her....she replied "You totally ruin it when you ask...............DON'T ASK!!!!"

I screw everything up...."this is my curse"

yesterday afternoon about 3:45, Linda actually told me something that she hadn't told Kelsey. I was suprised about that but glad she felt like she could trust me. I think her trust in me is beginning to build, which is great. she should know by now that she can trust me.

last night was the night that me, Linda, Kelsey, and Matt got together to exchange gifts and to hang out. From Linda, I got a awesome watch and a book full of short stories(westerns I believe). I gave her a penguin coffee cup, Van Helsing, and a Huggable Mumble from Happy Feet. She loves penguins. Matt got Kelsey a dozen roses but one of them was fake and he put on the card that he will love her until the last one dies. Before he gave them to her, like a couple days before I guess, she guessed what he was gonna get her.

it was funny, one of the times that I was standing in Kelsey's kitchen last night, Kelsey walks up to me and puts her arm around mine and said "Linda. Jeremy's mine now" and Linda said "No he's not. He's mine." then Linda asked "Jeremy....who do you belong to?" at first I didn't know how to answer that(cause I didn't know I BELONGED to ANYBODY, anyways) I finally pointed to Linda, for a second, and said "Linda, I belong to Linda." then Linda said "But I'm willing to share him with ya." I was like WOW lol(she meant that jokingly of course)

o yea, whenever Andy and Sam got to Kelsey's Linda asked Sam was she whipping Andy into shape and then Linda touches me and said "I'm whipping this one into shape" for one, where's the whip? lol secondly, good luck. thirdly, nobody can whip me into shape because I am who I am. But she says that she never fails, so we shall see I guess.....

we planned on going to Bellingrath after we got through exchanging gifts and eating but it was raining plus we would have had like 20 minutes to walk the whole place over, which from what I hear it takes an hour. so we decided to go bowling. OMG that was so much fun. first time I've been bowling in FOREVER. I done better this time than the last time I had played.

whenever I dropped Linda off at her house I helped her get her stuff, she hugged me said "Thank you" and kissed my cheek(to me that's not a good sign cause that usually means that it's a 'just friends' kiss, even though we're dating). I was suprised and still am lol

Linda told me in that message that she thinks it would actually work this time. And last time we were together it seemed like she was the one trying to find a reason to break it off(to me anyways).....now it seems that I'M the one that's looking for a reason to break it off(I guess cause I'm afraid of getting hurt again, and yes I know it sounds weird coming from a guy but I'm not like most guys) even though I want it to work too. It's seriously screwed up.....I need some input peeps.

Last Tuesday I finally got up the nerve to tell Linda I still have feelings for her, I was so nervous after typing it that I didn't actually send the message for about 30min. Wednesday she messaged me back saying

"We could try dating again if you wanted. I know that I wouldn't mind. If you don't think that I sound too forward. I know that we have both grown up a lot over the past two years. I think that it would actually work this time. Only if you wanted though. But if it doesn't, I am glad that we are friends again."

That can be interpreted in so many different ways. One being she wants us to try dating again. Another being that she doesn't care if we do or not.

Thursday night me and her was talking on the phone and she said "you never did answer my question." I said "your question?" she said "you forgot my question....my question was if you wanted to try dating again." I said "I did answer that, I put in the reply to your message "I'd love that" I thought you knew my answer." she asked "well do you want to?" I answered "Yes. do YOU want to?" she answered "Yes."

Friday night was our first date where it was just me and her at the movies, nobody else that we knew. It was nice. Then yesterday afternoon me and her went to a parade with some of her family, the parade didn't start 'til 7:00 so we just sat around talking and goofing off.

She's told that part of her family that we went to the parade with that we're dating. But she doesn't act like we are, I mean she does but she doesn't. But again my lack of experience with relationships isn't helping right now. I don't know when I should put my arms around her or when I should do this or do that.

I really want it to work this time, but I guess only time will tell...............

Ok, I gotta tell somebody or some thing this.......me and Linda was talkin' on the phone tonight while she was in Walmart when she said that she couldn't find anybody to help her get some christmas lights(I guess from a top shelf). so I said for her to just shout "HEY! CAN ANYBODY HELP ME!!?"

she said "have you lost yo mind?" I said "no, I've never had one hahahaha" then I said "naw, I haven't lost my mind" then she replied "that's ok. your mind is my mind" I was like "my mind is your mind?" she said "yea, I claim you"

W T F !!!!!!!!!!!!